What to do when you have a nervous child at a Santa Session

Believe it or not, having a nervous child at a Santa session happens more often than you think. Imagine this: It’s a Saturday evening in December, the studio is glowing warm and cozy, and a little three-year-old is standing in the doorway clutching her stuffed bunny like it’s a life raft. She has been talking about Santa for weeks. Weeks. The second she laid eyes on the man in the red suit, every bit of that excitement evaporated and she was fully, completely, done. Her mom looked at me with those wide “I’m so sorry” eyes and I just smiled and said, “We’ve got 30 minutes. We can just hang.” By the end of the session, that same little girl was sitting in Santa’s lap telling him about her dog and the book she wanted for Christmas. It’s one of my favorite kinds of moments to document, and this scenario actually happened to us in 2018. (I also lived the other side of this scenario when I was a young mom!)

Hey friend, I’m Markie, a documentary family and wedding photographer based in Bonney Lake, Washington.

I have been freezing holiday magic in time for families across the Pacific Northwest since 2010. Over the years I’ve photographed hundreds of children meeting Santa for the first time, and I can tell you with complete confidence that the nervous ones, the shy ones, the ones who aren’t quite sure what to make of the man in the big red suit, they are some of my absolute favorites to document. I’ve watched wide-eyed toddlers warm up from across the room and uncertain kids turn into Santa’s biggest fans all within a single 30-minute session. I know what works, I know what helps, and today I’m sharing everything so you can walk through our studio doors feeling calm, prepared, and genuinely excited for what’s about to happen.

Here’s the truth: having a nervous child at a Santa session is one of the most normal things in the world. He’s a big, boisterous stranger with a loud laugh and a full beard. From a toddler’s perspective, that can be a lot to process! As the Bonney Lake Photographer behind our Santa Experience at Markie Jones Photography, I’ve been doing this since 2013, and I’ve seen every reaction you can imagine. The sprinters who launch themselves at Santa before we’ve even said hello. The frozen-statue kids who stare from across the room for a solid 15 minutes. The ones who cry, the ones who whisper, the ones who suddenly become tiny philosophers asking Santa deeply philosophical questions about reindeer aerodynamics. I love them all.

The good news is that a little prep on your end can make a huge difference between a session that feels stressful and one that feels truly magical. So, grab your coffee, friend, because I’m walking you through everything.

Before You Even Walk Through the Door

Preparation starts at home, and it starts a few days before your session, not five minutes before you pull into the parking lot. One of the best things you can do is simply talk about it in a low-key, gentle way. Not “WE’RE GOING TO SEE SANTA AND IT’S GOING TO BE THE MOST AMAZING DAY OF YOUR LIFE” (because that level of hype can actually backfire and make the pressure feel bigger), but more like, “Hey, we’re going to a special, cozy place to visit Santa this week. He’s really kind and funny and I think you’re going to love it.” For my own kids, an emoji in the Skylight Calendar and a 5 sleeps countdown are the perfect starting point for exciting events.

If you have photos from a past session with us or images you can find online of warm, gentle Santa interactions, pull those up and look at them together. (Check out our past Santa galleries too!) You can also invite your child to write or draw a little letter to bring along. It gives them something to hold, something to focus on, and it gives Santa a beautiful way in. Handing Santa a letter is so much less intimidating than trying to make eye contact and speak on command.

One more thing I’ll say here: if your child has had a hard time with Santa before, please tell us! (BTDT with Mimi, I feel you). Our Santa, Jake, is genuinely gifted with hesitant kids. He meets every single child exactly where they are, whether that’s immediately on his lap or still hanging back on the other side of the room. We can tailor how he enters and approaches from the very beginning if we know what to expect.

The Day-Of Details That Make All the Difference

Okay, this is the practical stuff, and it matters more than most parents realize going in. Feed your kids before you come. Nap if you can. A well-rested, well-fed child is a completely different experience than a tired, hungry one, and I say that as a mom of four kids who has absolutely shown up to things on an empty stomach and paid the price. If your session is in the late afternoon and you have a toddler who typically naps in the morning, do everything in your power to protect that nap. You’ll thank yourself later. As a side note: if you’re booking and all the timeslots are during naptime, message me. The last thing we want is a forced nap that doesn’t happen and a sleeping kiddo during your session (unless that’s the vibe you want, then we’ll be really quiet).

Plan to arrive about 5 minutes early. Our Bonney Lake studio is easy to find, parking is free, and arriving with a few minutes to breathe means you’re not rushing in frazzled with your coat half on and a sippy cup flying out of the bag. Those few minutes give your child a chance to settle into the space, look around, and feel like they have their feet under them before the magic begins.

And absolutely feel free to bring a small bribe. Pack a little treat in your bag: Goldfish crackers, a lollipop (I stock Yum Brand Dye Free ones), a favorite snack that you save for special occasions. We call them “encouragement tools” around here (wink). If your child gets a little nervous or overwhelmed, having their favorite snack as a comfort item or a small reward can work absolute wonders. No shame in the snack game. We all have our things.

What Happens When They’re Still Not Sure

Here’s what I want you to hear, really hear, before your session: it is okay if your child doesn’t immediately run to Santa. It is okay if they take a while to warm up. It is okay if they cry. Having a nervous child at a Santa session is completely normal.

As a documentary-style Bonney Lake Santa Photographer, I’m not here to manufacture a perfect, posed moment. I’m here to capture what’s real. Some of the most beautiful, meaningful images I’ve ever delivered to families are the ones where a little one is clutching mom’s hand and peeking around her leg at Santa with enormous curious eyes. Or the one where a toddler finally reaches out and touches Santa’s sleeve, just barely, like they’re testing to see if he’s real. Those moments are every bit as precious as the wide-grinning lap shot, and sometimes they’re even more so.

Jake, our Santa, will never rush a child. Never. He’ll get on the floor, he’ll read a book out loud as if to himself, he’ll patiently wait across the room while the child decides at their own pace whether he’s safe. The moment a hesitant child decides Santa might actually be pretty great is a moment I never get tired of documenting. It is genuinely one of my favorite days of the entire year.

The biggest thing you can do in those moments is stay calm yourself. I know that can feel hard when you’re standing there hoping everything goes smoothly, but kids are incredibly tuned in to our energy. If they sense that you’re anxious or stressed about whether they’ll perform, they’ll feel that tension and mirror it right back. Take a breath. Let them set the pace. Trust the process. Even shy or tearful moments can become beautiful, authentic memories when they’re captured with love and patience, and that’s exactly what we bring to every single session.

Why Our Santa Experience Is Different (And Why It Matters)

I started this whole thing back in 2013 because I was a single mom who watched my own daughter fall apart the moment she saw the mall Santa. The line was long, the stranger in the suit was rushed, and the whole experience felt so far removed from the magic I wanted her to have. So I decided to build something better.

What we do at Markie Jones Photography is not a mall photo op. There’s no line, no timer, no strangers hustling you along. You get a private 30-minute session in our warm Bonney Lake studio, entirely to yourselves. Santa, your family, and a photographer who loves what she does. We document everything in our true documentary style, all the warm-up moments, the giggles, the whispered wish lists, the big expressions and the quiet tender ones. You’ll leave with a full gallery of 25 to 30 edited images that actually look like a real memory, because that’s exactly what they are.

If you want to see more, head over to www.markiejonesweddings.com and check out our full Santa Experience page. You can also follow along on Instagram at @markiejonesphotographyllc or find us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/mjpllc where I share behind-the-scenes moments and real session previews all season long.

Spots are limited every year and they go fast. If you’re searching for a Bonney Lake Santa photographer who genuinely cares about your child’s experience and not just the perfect shot, I’d love to be your person. Join Santa’s Nice List on our website to get early access when booking opens, and let’s make some magic together this holiday season.

The age of believing goes faster than anyone warns you. Let’s hold onto it.

Markie Jones is a documentary family and wedding photographer based in Bonney Lake, Washington, serving families across the Pacific Northwest and beyond since 2010. Learn more at www.markiejonesweddings.com.